The driver
- How do you know a BMW driver is polite? They use the horn instead of the bumper.
- Why don't BMWs come with turn signals? Market research showed the target audience doesn't use them.
- A BMW pulled over to let me merge. I checked the mirror twice. It was a mirage.
- Why did the BMW driver wave? They were drying their hand after washing the car. Don't read into it.
- BMW drivers don't take exits. Exits are for people with somewhere to be. They have somewhere to drive.
The car
- A BMW is a beautifully engineered machine for converting fuel into service intervals.
- Why did the BMW join the gym? To work on its core (charge).
- I love my BMW. So does my mechanic's kid, who's going to college on my oil changes.
- The Ultimate Driving Machine, and the Ultimate Waiting Machine at the parts counter.
- Why was the BMW calm? It had a balanced chassis and an unbalanced budget.
- My BMW runs like a dream. The dream where you open the invoice.
The bill
- BMW stands for "Bring More Wallet," according to my service advisor.
- I replaced a BMW badge. The badge cost more than my first car.
- Why do BMW parts come in pairs? So the wallet can feel equally light on both sides.
- A BMW oil change: 7 litres of oil, 0 litres of cheap.
- I asked for the maintenance plan. They asked for my retirement plan.
- The check engine light on a BMW is amber, like the color of the bill that follows.
- Why did the BMW go to the spa? It needed a $400 reset.
One-liners
- BMWs don't break down, they "enter a service opportunity."
- My BMW and I have a deal: it drives, I pay.
- A BMW in winter is a confident hockey skater with heated seats.
- Why did the BMW cross the road? To feel the camber.
- I bought a used BMW. It came with a binder. The binder was thicker than the manual.
- BMWs are like fine dining: small portions, large bills.
- My BMW's favourite song? "I Will Survive (Until the Next Service)."
Save thousands
Save thousands by refinancing your vehicle anywhere in Canada.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes. BMWs hold value well, which often means a healthier loan-to-value ratio and better refinancing terms than less desirable vehicles.
They're affectionate ribbing. We refinance BMWs all the time, and we enjoy them even more when the payment is lower.
Parts and labour can be higher than average for a European vehicle. A lower car payment can free up room in the budget for maintenance.