Traffic and driving
- Why did the car apply for a job? It was tired of being driven around.
- My GPS said "you have arrived." I hadn't. We're in a fight now.
- I told my car a joke. It didn't laugh, it just stalled.
- Why don't cars ever get lost in Canada? They always follow the poutine signs.
- My favourite highway is the one I'm not on during rush hour.
- I parallel parked so well a stranger applauded. Then asked if I was single.
- The speed limit is a suggestion with a fine attached.
- Why did the steering wheel go to school? To get a handle on things.
The car itself
- My glovebox is a portal. Things go in and are never seen again.
- I named my car "Mileage" because it asks for so much.
- Why did the tire look sad? It was under a lot of pressure.
- The check engine light is the car's way of saying, "surprise, it's me again."
- I trust my car. It has never lied about needing gas.
- Why was the windshield always calm? It could see right through everything.
- My trunk is a time capsule of things I meant to bring inside.
- I washed my car and it rained. My car is now a rain dance.
- The rearview mirror is where my confidence goes to shrink.
- Why did the battery break up with the alternator? There was no spark anymore.
- My car's love language is the fuel gauge needle.
- The odometer and my patience have a lot in common: both climb slowly then suddenly.
- I asked the car if it was okay. It flashed every light at once.
- My car only makes noises when the mechanic isn't around. It's shy.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, all 22 jokes are family-friendly and safe to share anywhere.
We have a whole humour section, including car dealer jokes, mechanic jokes, and brand-specific joke pages.
If repair costs and a high payment are both piling up, refinancing can lower your monthly cost so you can decide whether to keep or replace the vehicle.