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Region humour

10 Montreal Jokes

Montreal has the bagels, the poutine, the stairs, and the construction. It is a city that builds and rebuilds, seasonally.

Here are some affectionate Montreal jokes.

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The city

  • Montreal construction season is the fifth season, and the longest.
  • Why the exterior stairs? So the snow has somewhere to fall.
  • A Montrealer debates bagels the way others debate politics.
  • The orange cone is the city's official flower.
  • A Montreal winter is a tunnel, a coat, and a café.

Driving

  • A Montreal driver's favourite move is "the confident merge."
  • Why was the Montrealer calm in the snow? Winter tires, by law and by pride.
  • The pothole is Montreal's contribution to suspension engineering.
  • A Montreal bridge is a story and a delay.
  • Montrealers drive like they speak, with expression.

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Frequently asked questions

No, they are affectionate and respectful.

We serve every province except Quebec. Montrealers can still enjoy the jokes.

Quebec has its own consumer-credit framework, so we focus on the other provinces.

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