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Region humour

34 Canada Jokes

Canada is the country that apologises when you bump into it. We love the snow, the syrup, and the queuing.

Here are some affectionate Canada jokes for the polite and the patient.

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Polite and cold

  • A Canadian says "sorry" when you step on their foot, then asks if your shoe is okay.
  • Why do Canadians queue so politely? It's the only sport we all win.
  • Canadian winter has months, and most of them are "almost spring."
  • A Canadian's favourite temperature is "not bad, considering."
  • We measure distance in time, and time in Tim Hortons stops.

Maple and moose

  • A moose is nature's speed bump with opinions.
  • Why did the Canadian bring syrup to the party? In case it was dry.
  • Our second language is "eh," and our first is "sorry."
  • A Canadian thank-you is "thanks, eh," which is two courtesies for the price of one.
  • The beaver is our national animal because it works hard and never complains.

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Frequently asked questions

Yes, all family-friendly and affectionate.

Yes, in every province except Quebec, entirely online.

Absolutely. It is gentle and meant to be shared.

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